Today suppose to be a happy day.
1. I receive call from them saying I am shortlisted.
2. 2 of my KIV custs come back to sign their unsigned documents.
3. My sis's leave is finally confirmed.

BUT....

I have to tender today. Jean told me 'please stay'. I dont know what to reply. Sorry Jean, I am very sorry. Sorry to disappoint u, and ur high hopes towards me. Boss n Jess ask me to consider, they hope I can take back my letter. They sae they want to do something for the current situation, so that I can stay. I sae alot which I shldnt. But I told them my mind is set. I think I am so damm bad, I sae alot which I shldnt. Hate myself. E truth is I want to leave my current workplace is bcos someone there is jealous of me and what I have got, till she turn abit siao. I dont want to work w her, so simple. This reason disappoints alot of people there. I cant bear to leave them either, cos they are so so nice to me. They taught me alot. When they keep asking me to stay, I heartlessly threw them 'my mind is set, i wun change it'.
Btw, I hate myself for gossiping abt others. I deserved a slap. or maybe two. I think three.... I am sorry for gossiping abt others and I add in abit too. Damm it.

I am not sure if I made the right decision, but I will definitely work harder in mind hoping that I made the right choice after all. I am so lost. Kind of depressed when I see Jean almost cried. What the hell am I doing now. Think all of them are so disappointed bahz. What else. Everyone was shocked with my resignation after all. Cos they were saying I am leading a good life there, learning things well, co-working with the rest well. But there are things that they cant understand after all...

In the midst of watching proposal daisakusen. From e show, I really think one should really cherish now. I should be brave then, shldnt I.. MAYBE things will be different now. Past is something everyone hopes to change, isnt it.. I hope I am given one more chance too. Even though the final decision cant be changed, at least I could have done something else to change the memories I am having now....At least....


我怀念的

我问为什么
那女孩传简讯给我
而你为什么
不解释 低着头沉默
我该相信你很爱我
不愿意敷衍我
还是明白你已不想挽回什么
想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解 是吧 艰辛太赤裸裸
但被逼失去难受
我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起做梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
(谁记得 )谁忘了
我怀念的无言感动
我怀念的绝对挚热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅 我记得你在背后
我记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌
最美的烟火
最长的相拥
谁爱的太自由
睡过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺
谁自古自里走
谁忘了跟着我
谁让爱变执着
谁忘了要给你温柔